Give me back my book

One weekend in the TENTH FUCKING GRADE you borrowed my Kids in the Hall tapes. Tapes, mind you, that I spent ages assembling like the obsessive dweeb that I was, making sure I recorded every episode I could from CBC and Comedy Central. For years, you claimed no knowledge of the event, and I bought your lies. I thought I must have dreamt the whole thing up. Maybe I really only had one tape all along.

Finally, in 2006, 8 years after the fact, you fessed up. You'd had the tapes all along, and you even told me that you'd just watched one earlier in the day. Because I was buying the DVDs as they came out, my anger had subsided, otherwise I would have murdered you on the spot. You also offered me a Bad Religion DVD as some kind of blood money which I gladly took.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

What in the hell was I thinking letting you borrow my precious copy of Our Band Could Be Your Life? This time around, you didn't even have the courtesy to lie to me and claim you never had it. Instead, every time I'd see you, you'd tell me how much you loved the book and how you'd never give it back.

Aaron Surma, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for yourself, if you seek liberalization, come here to the Majestic Theater on October 14th. Mr. Surma, bring my God forsaken copy of Our Band Could Be Your Life. Mr. Surma, give me back my book.